New Life

If you had asked me three years ago what my life would look like down the road, my idea would not have been a positive one. I had moved home several years earlier to take care of my father after my mother died. Then he had a stroke and everything changed in a matter of months. Finally, I was not able to take care of him, and against my heart's desire, moved him into a nursing home. I was living in my parent's home and it hadn't had any repair or improvements in years. So everything that needed to be taken care of was totally up to me, and my income was way below the poverty level even though I was working 40 hours a week or more. I was sick and the doctors didn't know what was wrong with me. I was told over and over it was "just stress." Then I got sick for five months and couldn't get out of the bed, except for bodily emergencies. My family was absent from my life and couldn't be counted on for support or help. Friends didn't get how sick I was, and with several, our friendships fell away. I had one true friend left and she was six hours away. It was a very bleak existence and I was lonely, sick, totally alone and on my own. I was truly afraid and could not see my way past any of the misfortune and pain I lived.


I celebrated my birthday yesterday. Friends met me at a local resturant and we had a wonderful night. I truly just wanted to enjoy an evening with people I like and care about. Even though I told them not to buy anything, I was overwhelmed by the presents and cards. Later that evening I was struck with the vivid difference in how I viewed my life then and now. I have my times of trouble, and I can complain with the best of them, but I truly saw my life as exciting, fulfilling, and wonderful. And it is only getting better.


I thank God for the tough times I have had to go through. Each one has taught me a lesson, and given me a better foundation in faith and trust. I thank God for the good times, and the new and exciting life he has planned for me. I feel safe in his hands. I know that if I do what I am able, he will take care of the rest. And I am happy.

Mac 9/7/2007