Saturday, January 5, 2008
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
The New Year' Goals (Not Resolutions)
Make new years goals (not resolutions). Dig within, and discover what you would like to happen in your life this year. This helps you do your part. It is an affirmation that you're interested in fully living life in the year to come.
Goals give us direction. They put a powerful force into play - on a universal, conscious, and subconscious level. Goals give our life direction.
What would you like to have happen in your life this year? What would you like to do, to accomplish? What good would you like to attract into your life? What particular areas of growth would you like to have happen to you? What blocks, or character defects, would you like to have removed?
What would you like to attain? Little things and big things? Where would you like to go? What would you like to have happen in friendship and in love? What would you like to have happen in your family life?
Remember, we aren't controlling others with our goals - we are trying to give direction to our life.
What problems would you like to see solved? What decisions would you like to make? What would you like to happen in your career? What would you like to see happen inside and around you?
Write it down. Take a piece of paper, a few hours of your time, and write it all down - as an affirmation of you, your life, and your ability to choose. Then let it go.
Certainly, things happen that are out of our control. Somtimes, these events are pleasant surprises; sometimes, they are of another nature. But they are all part of the chapter that will be this year in our life and will lead us forward in the story.
The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals.
Today, I will remember that there is a powerful force motivated by writing down goals. I will do that now, for the year to come, and regularly as needed. I will do in not to control but to do my part in living my life.
The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
Goals give us direction. They put a powerful force into play - on a universal, conscious, and subconscious level. Goals give our life direction.
What would you like to have happen in your life this year? What would you like to do, to accomplish? What good would you like to attract into your life? What particular areas of growth would you like to have happen to you? What blocks, or character defects, would you like to have removed?
What would you like to attain? Little things and big things? Where would you like to go? What would you like to have happen in friendship and in love? What would you like to have happen in your family life?
Remember, we aren't controlling others with our goals - we are trying to give direction to our life.
What problems would you like to see solved? What decisions would you like to make? What would you like to happen in your career? What would you like to see happen inside and around you?
Write it down. Take a piece of paper, a few hours of your time, and write it all down - as an affirmation of you, your life, and your ability to choose. Then let it go.
Certainly, things happen that are out of our control. Somtimes, these events are pleasant surprises; sometimes, they are of another nature. But they are all part of the chapter that will be this year in our life and will lead us forward in the story.
The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals.
Today, I will remember that there is a powerful force motivated by writing down goals. I will do that now, for the year to come, and regularly as needed. I will do in not to control but to do my part in living my life.
The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
Staind
New Years Eve - Tomorrow I will begin the process of evaluating 2007, and reviewing my growth for the year. I will make definate decisions, on the things I need to work on. God will take care of the process. But tonight, (read my Christmas Day posting when I finally put it up) I am in a mood. You know the mood. The one of meloncoly, no matter what the tragedy - the alcohol- or drug-induced state where one looks back on one's life and remembers, even the tragedy, with a meloncoly, sadful understanding. and even a longing. After getting cleaned up, at times one still misses the bliss of denial.
The feeling of being lost - it comes at a high cost, but there is escape in the sadness, the darkness that envelopes one, and causes one to not care anymore. There is escape from reality there. There is blissfulness in a state of catatonic denial (fear undercover).
I went to a friend's house tonight. We listened to the music I grew up on. You remember, or maybe you don't. Lynard Skynard, Three Dog Night, Janice Joplin, The Alman Brothers, War, Foreigner, Rush, Heart...or maybe you came from the genre of Rufus & Chaka Kahn, The Gap Band, The Whispers, Earth, Wind & Fire, Tina & Ike Turner, War...I came from both, varied tastes tempted my palatte.
We also listened to Staind, a relatively new band. I like the song "It's Been Awhile." It speaks to my addiction. I didn't have the drugs and alcohol addictions that so many of the people I meet did/do, but I had an addiction, and it acted itself out the same way as drugs or alcohol, without all the immense harmful physical consequences. I still have the debt from my ex-husband that looms over my head from time to time, and it reminds me of his addictions. I still have the tendancy to "**** things up just like I always do" - a lyric in the song.
I still remember not being able to "look at myself straight in the mirror." I remember not being able to remember what I looked like after I had turned away. I remember not being able to say "I am sorry." I remember not being able to "hold my head up high." I remember not being able "to stand on my own two feet."
"Staind" I felt that way today, and yesterday. HALT: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. I have been all those things this week - not because it was the post-holiday blues, but because I am broke. My work reduced my salary, as well as the other employees, two months ago. I kept praying that God would send a little miracle my way and I wouldn't have to suffer the consequences of this one again. But alas, here it is again, and I do not want to face reality. Although reality has smacked me in the face this week, I still think that maybe God will pull a rabbit out of his hat, so to speak, and I won't have to alter plans or my way of living or my comfort zone, and things will just miraculously work themselves out.
Well, taxes are due on my house, and I don't have all the money. I always have all the money. Where is my rabbit, God? I still have seven days before penalties begin to accrue.
Anyhow, the words in this song were my mantra for a number of years when I first separated myself from my ex and began to clean my life up, take responsibility for what was mine, and for some that wasn't, and get my "****" straightened out. (Okay, get a grip. For all those wondering, I am still in the addict stage, and considering how I have messed my life up, that is the only "real" way of expressing it. Softer, kinder, more politically-correct words just don't cut it. Ask any addict - you have to say it like it is, man. And God forgives...even the addict. I thank God he loves me, is healing me, forgives me, and restores me; the real me.) Reality sucks! I've been Staind!
"It's been awhile since I could say I wasn't addicted. And it's been awhile since I could say I love myself as well...But everything I can't remember...I knew it was all me. I cannot blame this on my father (mother?), he did the best he could for me...It's been awhile since I could hold my head up high, and it's been awhile since I could say I am sorry."
I guess that says it all tonight. I am "Staind" and it may be awhile til I can say I am not...and live like I am not all the time. Anyway, I know God has washed that stain out. And I know he will see me through this one as well. Stains are washed away each night, and we are new and clean each morning. God's detergent. No more staind.
The feeling of being lost - it comes at a high cost, but there is escape in the sadness, the darkness that envelopes one, and causes one to not care anymore. There is escape from reality there. There is blissfulness in a state of catatonic denial (fear undercover).
I went to a friend's house tonight. We listened to the music I grew up on. You remember, or maybe you don't. Lynard Skynard, Three Dog Night, Janice Joplin, The Alman Brothers, War, Foreigner, Rush, Heart...or maybe you came from the genre of Rufus & Chaka Kahn, The Gap Band, The Whispers, Earth, Wind & Fire, Tina & Ike Turner, War...I came from both, varied tastes tempted my palatte.
We also listened to Staind, a relatively new band. I like the song "It's Been Awhile." It speaks to my addiction. I didn't have the drugs and alcohol addictions that so many of the people I meet did/do, but I had an addiction, and it acted itself out the same way as drugs or alcohol, without all the immense harmful physical consequences. I still have the debt from my ex-husband that looms over my head from time to time, and it reminds me of his addictions. I still have the tendancy to "**** things up just like I always do" - a lyric in the song.
I still remember not being able to "look at myself straight in the mirror." I remember not being able to remember what I looked like after I had turned away. I remember not being able to say "I am sorry." I remember not being able to "hold my head up high." I remember not being able "to stand on my own two feet."
"Staind" I felt that way today, and yesterday. HALT: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. I have been all those things this week - not because it was the post-holiday blues, but because I am broke. My work reduced my salary, as well as the other employees, two months ago. I kept praying that God would send a little miracle my way and I wouldn't have to suffer the consequences of this one again. But alas, here it is again, and I do not want to face reality. Although reality has smacked me in the face this week, I still think that maybe God will pull a rabbit out of his hat, so to speak, and I won't have to alter plans or my way of living or my comfort zone, and things will just miraculously work themselves out.
Well, taxes are due on my house, and I don't have all the money. I always have all the money. Where is my rabbit, God? I still have seven days before penalties begin to accrue.
Anyhow, the words in this song were my mantra for a number of years when I first separated myself from my ex and began to clean my life up, take responsibility for what was mine, and for some that wasn't, and get my "****" straightened out. (Okay, get a grip. For all those wondering, I am still in the addict stage, and considering how I have messed my life up, that is the only "real" way of expressing it. Softer, kinder, more politically-correct words just don't cut it. Ask any addict - you have to say it like it is, man. And God forgives...even the addict. I thank God he loves me, is healing me, forgives me, and restores me; the real me.) Reality sucks! I've been Staind!
"It's been awhile since I could say I wasn't addicted. And it's been awhile since I could say I love myself as well...But everything I can't remember...I knew it was all me. I cannot blame this on my father (mother?), he did the best he could for me...It's been awhile since I could hold my head up high, and it's been awhile since I could say I am sorry."
I guess that says it all tonight. I am "Staind" and it may be awhile til I can say I am not...and live like I am not all the time. Anyway, I know God has washed that stain out. And I know he will see me through this one as well. Stains are washed away each night, and we are new and clean each morning. God's detergent. No more staind.
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