Freedom Friday

I'm Free! I'm Free! Free to be Me!

Okay, not quiet that freeing. Today is Friday, and I just finished my last day of school for this semester. It's about 9:30pm and I didn't get home from class until about 8:30pm. I had two monster projects due and didn't get either one finished. But I have a really cool teacher, who looks at effort and "balls" (her expression/actually I am cleaning it up a little) and so I feel pretty good about my grade.

More than that, I feel pretty good about the classes. Prepress was hard, and if I had known the software better, I would have finished that class project, but KG will let me come to her house to work on it and perfect it for my future portfolio. Although I could have done better/learned more in my beginner's web design class, I have the books and will hopefully be taking a couple "Non-CPCC Classes" from "Jason's Web Design School" this summer, so I feel pretty okay about it as well. Either way, I can take them both over if I so desire.

Anyhow, I am free for the summer. Although I would like to take a few classes, probably a drawing class or a core class, I neither have the money for the classes, nor for the books or supplies. And the gas prices make it prohibitive as well for me this year. If I can just find a client/part-time employer who will work around my current part-time job and constantly changing school schedule, that will help my financial situation.

Only if I can bring in significantly more money will I be able to go back to school in the fall. Money right now is the defining factor - for just about everything. I need to get my computer upgraded by fall classes, or it will become even harder for me to utilize what I am learning in class. I need to be able to work on projects from home, experiment, work with online tutorials, play, in order for skills to stick. So far, no matter what I have had access to, I have failed to be able to have access to the software, except at my instructor's house. Thank God for her!

So my prayer for now involves more money, to make ends meet, and enable me to go back to school in the fall; to purchase an upgrade for my current computer, and to utilize this free time I do have to the best of my ability, painting one more bedroom, moving furniture, and beginning the paint job in the den/kitchen area. Now that will be a monster project.

Patience

Sometimes we get what we want right away. At other times, we wonder if our desires will ever be fulfilled.

We will be fulfilled in the best way possible and as quickly as possible. But some things take time. Sometimes, we have lessons to learn first, lessons that prepare us so we can accept the good we deserve. Things are being worked out in us, and in others. Blocks in us are being removed. A solid foundation is being laid.

Be patient. Relax and trust. Let go. Then, let go some more. Good things are planned for us. We will receive them at the first available moment. We will have all our heart longs for.

Relax and trust.

Today, I will identify what I want and need; then I'll be willing to let go of it. I will devote my energy to living my life today, so I may master my lessons as quickly as possible. I will trust that what I want and need is coming to me. I will let go of my need to control the details.

(I will try!)

From: The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie