Codependent Behaviors verses Healthy Antidote Behaviors
- empathizing vs. feeling my feelings
- worrying about vs. not worrying about (or for) others
- pitying vs. respecting
- helping vs. helping only when I want to
- caretaking vs. taking care of myself
- fixing, resuing vs. letting others experience their own consequences
- protecting vs. acknowledging other's ability to take care of themselves
- defending vs. letting others defend themselves
- interfering vs. minding my own business
- rationalizing, justifying vs. seeing others' behavior honestly
- excusing vs. letter others be accountable for their actions
- sacrificing for vs. taking care of my own needs first
- being a martyr vs. not giving my life away for anyone
- avoiding vs. confronting
- distancing, withdrawing from vs. being accessible, approaching others
- witholding from vs. giving happily when I want to
- giving the silent treatment vs. listening and responding
- minimizing or denying my feeling vs. valuing and owning my feelings
- pretending, deceiving, or lying vs. voicing my feelings and opinions honestly
- manipulating vs. asking for what I want
- controlling vs. letter others make their own choices
- teasing vs. complementing
- shaming vs. honoring
- criticizing, judging vs. appreciating, accepting
- blaming vs. taking responsibility for my own life
- resenting vs. forgiving
- being hostile vs. being kind
- cursing, raging vs. expressing my anger appropriately without attacking
- hating vs. loving
- punishing, abusing vs. disciplining fairly, and only when appropriate
- discounting, ignoring vs. respecting, acknowledging others
- neglecting, abandoning vs. fulfilling commitments even when difficult
- being passive vs. taking action
- whining vs. speaking honestly concerning my needs or wants
- acting helpless or powerless vs. using my abilities and power constructively
- being bitter vs. forgiving and letting go of the past
- fearing vs. being courageous
- being vigilant, on guard, wary of vs. being self-confident
- pleasing vs. pleasing myself
- appeasing vs. fighting for my rights appropriately
- enmeshing vs. being independent in my feelings and choices
- needing vs. enjoying others while being self-sufficient
(c) 1999 by Tim A (NYC)
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