Are You a Toxic Person?

Do you know what I mean by "toxic" people? Its kind of hard to explain to someone who isn't in recovery yet. Toxic people pull on you emotionally. They hold your relationship ransom. If you do not act or respond the way they want you to, you will pay for it from now on.

They will remind you of any fault or misdeed every chance they get. They will hold it over your head, recount it, and tell everyone else of how you have failed them in some way. They will whine when you do not perform the way they imagined you should. They will pull on you emotionally and psychologically, forever wanting something you cannot give. They badger you, call incessantly, ask why you haven't called them back, and wonder why you don't want to call them back.

I have a limit to how much I can handle, and how much of my time I spend with these type of people. I actually begin to feel angry when faced with a toxic person now - and that's okay. Anger is a warning signal. Anger tells you to be careful or afraid of something or someone. Listen to your anger.

Before getting into recovery I did not know these people were toxic. I grew up with toxic parents. Our home was a stew of unrealistic expectations, hurt feelings, dashed hopes, and always, there was the never ending revenge to exact.

Sickness runs in familes. Until one gets some help, and "you" discover you are toxic as well. If you have an inkling that you are a toxic person, please talk to a counselor. There are even books on toxic people. Check one out to see if "someone you know" is a toxic person, and learn how to cope. If you discover you are a toxic person, think about this, "Maybe you wouldn't get your feelings so hurt if your expectations weren't so unrealistically high."